All In A (Million) Day's Work

I cannot accomplish anything.  Ever.  Here is the short list of things I get done each day:

1. Nurse the baby.  Except that even this isn't working really well lately.
2. Put Reece in time out.

That's about it, folks. 

Here are some of the things I cannot accomplish:

1. Laundry.  We have approximately 14 months worth of laundry that needs washing right now.  As an example, I just washed a load of the clothes and folded a fleece sweatshirt.  It is July.  When was the last time anyone wore fleece?  I couldn't say for sure, but it wasn't in the months of June or July!  And just when I think I'm getting caught up, someone throws up, pees in their bed, or decides to wear 27 different outfits in one day.  And then there's beach towels!  Laundry, we are breaking up.

2. Pest control.  First up this summer it was yellow jackets.  We've thankfully moved on to more innocuous pests like ants, fruit flies, and four year olds.  I finally got to a growing pile of clean but too small clothes and cloth diapers today.  Sorted them and stored them, only to find a swarm (?) of tiny ants underneath it all.  And the fruit flies!  They are all over everywhere.  We are out of red wine...I'll let you decide if it's because of all the fruit fly traps. 

3. Dishes.  Hence the fruit flies, I'm sure.  Just when I get them clean, it's time for someone to eat something again.  Again I cry heavenward, why must they eat three meals a day?!

4. Cleaning out my van.  The kids want me to get in a non-injury accident so that we can have a rental vehicle.  One time a deer hit me and bashed up the side of the snack-factory-on-wheels that we drive and we had a rental for two whole weeks!  They all emphatically stated that they preferred that ride to our usual because it was cleaner.  Guess what, wackos?!  I'm not the one throwing Cheez-its and popcorn all over the inside of the car!  Geez.  These people.  Earlier this week Reece put Cheez-its and water into a non-removable cup holder in the backseat.  Then, when I braked suddenly to avoid hitting a dog in the road, the cup holder concoction (which had fermented overnight) spilled all over Andrew.  He was not amused.

5. All the other things.  I could go on and on, but I'll save it for another post, I guess.  You can thank me later. 

Here's a look at all the cousins together from this week's *first annual* "Burns Family Cousin Camp."  We'll let Grandma and Grandpa recover for a week or two and then see if there is a second annual...